17.02.08 Artbitch goes to United Artists @ The Palace

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This girl’s look is much understated chic. While she may not so much as “stand out in a crowd’, her look is very sophisticated in an Audrey Hepburn kind of way. The neutral colors are complementary to her coloring and the fabric is of a good quality. The dress fits great and is well cut. With the on surge of fashion for the suburbs, such as stores like Supre who pump out the new trends at affordable prices, fewer people are concerned with such important elements as fit, cut and suitability. Ah, the beauty of simplicity. This girl is not, perhaps has never been and probably never will be a victim of fashion.


This girl’s outfit is so cute I had to resist the urge to approach her like an annoying older relative and pinch her cheeks.  I think it’s those glasses that lend her that kooky “I’ve just stepped out of a Daniel Clowes graphic novel” edge. I think if I wore glasses, those are the kind I would want to wear. Kooky, cute and friendly too (yeah, she was friendly), she looks like the kind of girl I would like shopping with. Except if she was coming with me, she’d have to ditch that hideous green supermarket bag.


It seems to me that whenever I go to an experimental art event there is always some “artist” who has had Jackson Pollock playing in his/her wardrobe. In this case there were two.


Written by artbitch1

February 29, 2008 at 5:05 am

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16.02.08 Artbitch goes to CQ- What not to wear : )

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My love for tie dye peaked when I was at the age of eleven and withered shortly afterwards. I used to love tie dye, I loved it so much I used to fantasize about converting particular items in my wardrobe (like those dreaded skivvies) from uber daggy to uber chic in just one sunny afternoon. I begged and pleaded with my father accordingly but to no success. Eventually, my father agreed to purchase a purple tie dye top from sportsgirl. I thought I was so cool in my purple tie dye tee, which I eventually teamed with a pair of long awaited maroon Rip Curl trackies. To those of my generation who grew up in Melbourne suburbia, remember those carefree days when tie dye and rip curl trackies seemed near the coolest outfit ever? Well, as it turns out, we were wrong. Tie dye is rarely cool and this photograph should prove as a testament to my opinion. I am telling you this (and using this poor fool) as an example because as we get closer to Winter you can expect to see tie dye everywhere, the March publication of Vogue Australia has already dedicated a page to tie dye, general pants co already stocks tie dye. If you were sucked in by the on surge of fluoro it may be too late for you (while fluoro accessories are still cute in my book), you probably already own a tie dye tee. In my opinion, if you are going to do tie dye the only way to do it is in muted colors or with a limited color palette.


In my artbitch folder on my computers desktop I have saved this photo as birdnest.gif

While I am a fan of the tousled JBF look, it should look sexy, never look intentional and it should NEVER EVER look scary! I am also all for kooky, I like kooky, kooky is the clever guy or girl who doesn’t follow the grain and kooky often sets the trends. But this is beyond kooky, this is CRAZY! Crazy is the guy or girl that smashes bottles on a footpath and screams out for the love of God.


You know that phrase ‘a picture tells a thousand words’, well this picture tells a thousand words that no-one wants to hear.

Written by artbitch1

February 27, 2008 at 4:41 am

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16.02.08 Artbitch goes to Nautical by Nature, Yacht Rock Party

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If there was a trophy, medal, certificate or award I could have given her for her outfit, I would have. Earlier that evening when the mundane girls were getting all exited about their stripy tops and sailor suits, this chick was on a whole other level. She was listening to Fleetwood Mac and thinking about Boogie Nights and 70’s porn stars. She looks so hot I just want to see her float away on a yacht. If there is anyone out there who understands and has some cash to burn, can you please buy this girl a yacht???? Her outfit is just screaming for one.
This guy looks like he has stepped out of a Shag painting or a Peter Blake film, he even poses like a beatnik. I could definitely see him on a yacht in the swinging sixties. This one comes complete with goatee, it seems to me he thought this out well before the party, but then, that’s the kind of thing a girl would do. Which leaves me to wonder, could he have been dressed by the girl below and if so, could she have done better on herself??
funnyshoegirl2.gifThis one appears to be wearing what’s left of the cookie monster. I was talking to this one about her shoes while I was waiting to use the little girl’s room. She had reached that stage of the evening where her shoes were too painful to wear. I noticed she still had her price tag on the sole of her shoe and so in my drunken stupor, I politely mentioned she might want to remove it. While I was doing my thing (no need for descriptions here) I heard her outside the bathroom door complaining to another party goer about my suggestion. Apparently she likes for people to know how much she spends on her clothes. So just so we are all clear, this girls shoes cost her $14.95!!!!

How many other girls could match a sailor hat with their accessories and pull in off with such chic style. What else can I say? Coco Chanel would be proud.

This dress was well liked by a fair few at the party; I know this cause there were a lot of girls at the party pointing this dress out for me to photograph. I am not sure if I asked her if it was a vintage, but I’m guessing it was. The funny thing about this outfit is that it doesn’t typically subscribe to the nautical theme. If she had someplace to go after or before the party she could still look hot in that dress and very few would ever guess she had been to a themed party. While in this context and paired up with the girl on the right (in the white suit), these two look like they are ready to escape the law on a stolen yacht, very glamorous, I like it!

Written by artbitch1

February 21, 2008 at 10:56 am

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